Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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