Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
