It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
