people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
