Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
