how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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