Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
