I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
