she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
