Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
