Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
