I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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