I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
