it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
