What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
