Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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