gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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