Plan B is the new Plan A
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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