So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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