Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
