I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
