Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
