So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
