Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
