I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
