it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
