if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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