You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
