So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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