I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
