Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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