ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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