I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
