Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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