..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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