it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
