so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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