you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
