I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
