Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
COCAINE IS GR8
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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