David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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