Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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