do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We need to get me chipped asap
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
