She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
