Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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