Whod you bang
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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