if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
