i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
