I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
