god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
