Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
