none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
