dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
